By The Maker's Side
by Cougarfang15
Summary: My take on telling Leliana that the Warden won't make it through the fianl battle. Summary sucks, story is better.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Anything recognizable belongs to its rightful owners.**

**I feel it only right to state that my city elf's name is Emilia. Just so there's no confusion. :p**

Emilia's POV

When I found out that one of us had to die, I was at a loss for words.

I guess I had always known; deep down inside. I mean, there had to have been some reason that the Grey Wardens were needed during a blight. There was also the fact that you never once heard about a Grey Warden surviving after killing the archdemon.

Still, I guess the thought hadn't occurred to me that often. There was only one time in which I had truly considered what was really going on and that was when I got a little "motherly talk" from the old circle mage.

I tried to forget it. I had tried to let the talk simply brush off but it didn't happen. Later that night when Leliana had inquired what was wrong I had no choice but to answer.

There was just no lying with Leliana. No secrets either. She just always _knew._

I told her everything. That I was truly afraid, that in the end one of us would die. That I could hurt her because she never knew what kind of danger I would have to be in.

I chuckled dryly to myself. How true I really was.

When I arrived to my bedroom to find Morrigan standing there, I simply stared at her quizzically. After a long, long talk and me deciding that no, there was no way I was going to go off and convince Alistar to have a child with her, she started to anger.

"At least think of what Leliana will feel in this. How do you think she's going to react when she realizes that her lover must die?"

My silence and anger radiated throughout the room, and Morrigan knew there was no way she was going to change my mind.

She left when the tears started forming. I laid on the bed and cried silently until I calmed myself into a numb state. I heard the door creak quietly behind me and I turned around quickly. Harshly I whispered,

"Morrigan I already told you-"

I froze in midsentence as I found myself staring at a startled Leliana, illuminated by the light that was coming from the dying coals of the fire.

"Morrigan?"

Leliana's tone was more angry than confused.

"And what in the world was _she _doing in _your _room?"

I shook my head and groaned softly, rolling onto my stomach. She took this as her cue, and sat down next to me, rubbing my back silently.

"She's gone. Don't worry about her."

Leliana made an approving noise in the back of her throat and I could not help but chuckle. She hated the witch since I had told her early on in our relationship that I had a crush on her when our travels first started off.

If only she knew that the witch was my only hope to survive. And that I had declined it.

I paused for a moment and thought on this. Would Leliana side with her? It was very dark magic, and leaving the witch with that kind of power at her disposal was far too dangerous. If it would save my life though, would she…?

"It took simply forever for everyone to go to bed so that I could sneak up here. It also took forever to convince Shale to be quiet about it."

She started to kiss my neck and snuggle under the covers next to me.

"It is a big day tomorrow, my hero. Going to do a lot of killing?"

Her giggle was music to my ears and I smiled slightly. I would miss her.

It was quiet for a long time. I tried to make words form into a sentence but nothing came to me. Then I began contemplating on actually telling her.

I couldn't just let her go in there blind, thinking I could make it out alive could I? The answer was as clear as day.

Yes. Yes I could.

Or I could tell her and crush her now. If I told her now though, I would be here to say goodbye. Not that I couldn't do that later but I would be able to provide what little comfort I could give.

I could hear her breathing start to even and her circles on my back slowing as she began to drift.

It was now or never.

"Leliana."

She shifted slightly, knowing that I almost never used her actual name. Still half asleep she knew me.

"I have to tell you something."

She groaned and rolled onto her back.

"Can it not wait until daybreak my love?"

I gritted my teeth. It was so very tempting.

"No. We have to do this now. It should have been said sooner but I just couldn't do it. I need to though. I have to tell you."

She sighed but I could hear the sound of frustration in it. She knew that whatever I had to say was pretty important.

"Well what is it?"

It was dead silent for a minute. I wanted to run, to tell her to go back to bed and that it was nothing. That I loved her and that everything was going to be alright but it wasn't. I couldn't do that. Not to her.

"Leliana," I started, trying to find the right words. She was silent, but by her breathing I knew she was awake as she was going to get and she was listening. I decided to just say it.

"Leliana I'm going to die."

I waited. There was a heavy long silence that I thought would never end when she sat up. I didn't need to look at her to know that her eyebrows were met in the middle and her forehead creased in deep thought.

"We all die sometime love. What are you talking about?"

I groaned.

"No I mean tomorrow. I'm going to die tomorrow. The battle… the archdemon… I won't make it back."

There was more silence and a dry, nervous chuckle that made me cringe. She was denying it. She was making this so much harder.

"What do you mean? Don't say things like that. Think positive. I have faith in you. It'll all turn out-"

I groaned again and interrupted her with haste and desperation.

"No. Baby, a Grey Warden has to kill the archdemon. They are the only ones who can do it. Haven't you ever wondered why that is? It's the _taint _baby. The soul of the archdemon will seek out the nearest… It will kill me…"

I drifted when I started hearing her breathing hitch slightly faster and after a few seconds I knew she was crying.

We laid there together for hours, crying and holding each other. When we had finally calmed down enough to slowly give into sleep I heard her whisper softly into my ear.

"I'll meet you at the maker's side."

No matter how much I wanted to protest my body would not let me. Slowly and deeply I drifted off into a world that was fair. Where I could be with my love and no complications existed. Where there was always a happy ending.


End file.
